Ahh, to have a vagina in 2018...amiright?
I entertain a variety of mixed feelings about the Women’s movements that have spread across the media. Frankly it’s difficult to admit that publicly. What comes up for me is that the conversation is impossible to control. The beauty of free speech is that everyone can say whatever the fuck we want. And sometimes that means that an amplifier is given to voices that might not always serve the greater good or positively contribute to a scope of influence, and that the messaging can be inconsistent and downright damaging sometimes. Who’s narrative is true and who is embellishing or falsifying because being part of the conversation is “cool” or “relevant” or makes it feel like you’re part of something. There’s no way to know - and that’s the unfortunate truth of ALL media.
Furthermore, I haven’t been able to settle in the exclusive nature of some of these movements. Can I say #metoo? Yup, I sure can. Do I absolve myself of responsibility in the moments where the line was unclear? No, I don’t. I’ve made choices that have landed me in scenarios that I’ve questioned. Nor do I absolve the men that haven’t honored the sacred temple I call home to. That shit is NOT okay and I've held people accountable to that irrefutable fact. What I ALSO know though, is that there are more men out there who have experienced abuse than we talk about because there is SO much shame clouding this conversation. I sat with a man the other day who openly shared multiple stories of sexual assault by women AND other men. “Not just ‘ME too…HIM too.’ I thought to myself, wishing that these stories got to have more breadth so that THEY too, could heal.
It feels important to me to acknowledge where our culture has not set men up for success. I see how men have been failed in the illumination of a path to true, conscious manhood. But over the last year I’ve gotten to experience men who are doing the WORK to shift this paradigm and claim true masculinity. And to keep it real, I know myself in more divine femininity than ever before, because of some very, very elevated men in my life who support me in ways that have helped me to soften and flow so that I don't always have to be in control. What a gift.
AND, I am fucking stoked to be a woman in 2018. What I trust is that our entire collective consciousness is rising. Change takes time and we’ve got a hell of a long way to go before we experience true equality across EVERY SINGLE facet of humanity. But there is not a day that goes by that I don’t feel how fucking lucky I am to be alive in this time in history. I voted for the first woman to run for president of the United States. I interact DAILY with female entrepreneurs who are showing up in such remarkable bravery to steward their gifts. I have a community of absolutely extraordinary women in my life who allow me to rediscover friendship with women that feels safe and whole. I buy EVERYTHING related to my sexual health and pleasure from companies owned by women - including the jade wand I used this morning from NYMPH NYC and the condoms I bought tonight from Sustain. I watch women step further and further into male-dominated roles. There's still a shit load of work to do. But it is TIME, and I am so proud to be breathing deeply into female lungs right now.
This morning I drove past an elderly woman who appeared to have fallen. As I drove away I watched in my rearview to see if she’d stand up, deciding whether or not to turn around. No one was stopping, and she wasn’t standing. “Can I really drive away from her right now? Can I go the rest of my day knowing I kept driving? Didn’t stop to help another woman?” I turned around to go to her aid. When I got there, however, she was being helped by three people - all men. I smiled and made another u-turn resting in gratitude for men who reach out their hand to help women rise. For women who help women rise. For people who help people rise.
If you strip us of our bits and pieces, we’re all just humans. I want to remember that.
But if I have to be in one body or another, I’m digging the shit out of this woman thing.