Studies show that a startling 75% of all women have never had an orgasm.
I am not part of that 75%.
I’ve been masturbating since I was a child. (Very) blissfully ignorant of what I was doing exactly besides stumbling upon something that felt real good - since I was in single digits. I lost my virginity at the average age of 16 years old and had my first orgasms (that I was conscious of) shortly thereafter.
By 17 I was in a relationship that would span the course of the next six years and I tallied up hundreds upon hundreds of O moments with a partner that I loved deeply. I felt safe and cared for as I got to know my body more intimately by way of our partnership, through some crucial developmental years as a young woman. Every time we had sex - I came. We’d connect and I knew my needs would be met without effort. It was almost mathematical really. Just like 1+1 = 2, Stef + J = you’re getting off tonight, sister.
It wasn’t until long after that relationship ended that I learned that not all sexual encounters result in waves crashing and gospel choirs rejoicing as your pleasure peaks. Well...that’s a bummer.
Over the next handful of years, I remained single but not necessarily celebrate (read: whatever is the exact opposite of celibate - not a slutty phase) (it was definitely a slutty phase). And it was in this season that the essential pieces of the puzzle that were this now elusive orgasm began to come together and they were two fold:
The rest of this story lives over at Nymph NYC. Check it.